I have a beautiful wife of 13 yrs whom I’ve know from 17 years. The first 10 years of our relationship were perfect.
First kid came and things got stressful. We both work full-time and that added to the family stress.
Second kid came and things got out of control for me. I escaped my family stress by working all the time. I knew no better way at the time to deal with it. I was on auto-pilot… not paying attention to the details of the day. And, to be honest, I did not always treat her well – I could say mean hurtful things to her for reasons that I’m still working out.
About 2 years ago, my wife started falling out of love with me. I didn’t realize it until this year. By the time I realized it, I think that she had already decided to leave me. I also found proof that she had an affair with a co-worker. This is one of the most painful things I’ve every felt. I love my wife more than anything. I have made mistakes, but am consciously identifying them, apologizing for them, and learning from them. I want my wife back!
‘We’ve’ been ‘working’ on it for six months. I feel that negligible process has been made. I’ve been scared to death that shes ready to say “I’m leaving”, but instead, when I ask her, she says ,”I don’t know.”
It’s been six months of this. I’m miserable. But I have hope. She was to wait another 3 months (until after the holidays).
What do I make of this? Opportunity? Hope? When does this exercise turn into something so cruel that I have to take action, like leave her?